Data Structure causing impossible joins - mysql

Question

Tables:
nodes
data_texts
data_profiles
data_locations
data_profiles
data_media
data_products
data_metas
categories
tags
categories_nodes
tags_nodes
This question is a generalized question and is on the back of another question
Explanation:
Each of the "data" tables has a node_id that refers back to the id of the nodes table (hasMany/belongsTo association).
A "Node" can be anything - a TV Show, a Movie, a Person, an Article...etc (all generated via a CMS, so the user can control what type of "Nodes" they want).
When pulling data, I want to be able to query against certain fields. For example if they do a search, I want to be able to pull nodes that have data_texts.title = '%george%' or order by the datetime field in data_locations.
The problem is, when I do a join on all seven data tables (or more), the query has to hit so many combined rows that it just times out (even with a nearly empty database.... total 200 rows across the entire database).
I realize I can determine IF I need a join depending on what I'm doing - but even with five or six joins (once the database gets to 10k+ records), it's going to be horribly slow, if it works at all. Per this question, the query I'm using just doing a join on these tables times out completely.
Each node can have multiple rows of each data type (for multi-language reasons among others).
I'm completely defeated - I'm at the point where I think I need to restructure the entire thing, but don't have the time for that. I've thought about combining all into one table, but aren't sure how....etc
nodes
CREATE TABLE `nodes` (
`id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`name` VARCHAR(100) NOT NULL,
`slug` VARCHAR(100) NOT NULL,
`node_type_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`site_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`created` DATETIME NOT NULL,
`modified` DATETIME NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
INDEX `nodeTypeId` (`node_type_id`),
INDEX `slug` (`slug`),
INDEX `nodeId` (`id`)
)
COLLATE='latin1_swedish_ci'
ENGINE=MyISAM;
data_texts:
CREATE TABLE `data_texts` (
`id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`title` VARCHAR(250) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`subtitle` VARCHAR(500) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`content` LONGTEXT NULL,
`byline` VARCHAR(250) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`language_id` CHAR(36) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`foreign_key` CHAR(36) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`model` VARCHAR(40) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`node_id` CHAR(36) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`created` DATETIME NOT NULL,
`modified` DATETIME NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
INDEX `nodeId` (`node_id`),
INDEX `languageId_nodeId` (`language_id`, `node_id`),
INDEX `foreignKey_model` (`foreign_key`, `model`)
)
COLLATE='utf8_general_ci'
ENGINE=MyISAM;
data_profiles
CREATE TABLE `data_profiles` (
`id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`name` VARCHAR(80) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`email_personal` VARCHAR(100) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`email_business` VARCHAR(100) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`email_other` VARCHAR(100) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`title` VARCHAR(100) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`description` LONGTEXT NULL,
`prefix` VARCHAR(40) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`phone_home` VARCHAR(40) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`phone_business` VARCHAR(40) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`phone_mobile` VARCHAR(40) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`phone_other` VARCHAR(40) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`foreign_key` CHAR(36) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`model` VARCHAR(40) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`node_id` CHAR(36) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`language_id` CHAR(36) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
`created` DATETIME NOT NULL,
`modified` DATETIME NOT NULL,
`user_id` CHAR(36) NULL DEFAULT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
INDEX `nodeId` (`node_id`),
INDEX `languageId_nodeId` (`node_id`, `language_id`),
INDEX `foreignKey_model` (`foreign_key`, `model`)
)
COLLATE='latin1_swedish_ci'
ENGINE=MyISAM;
categories
CREATE TABLE `categories` (
`id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`name` VARCHAR(100) NOT NULL,
`node_type_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`site_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`slug` VARCHAR(100) NOT NULL,
`created` DATETIME NOT NULL,
`modified` DATETIME NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
INDEX `nodeTypeId` (`node_type_id`),
INDEX `slug` (`slug`)
)
COMMENT='Used to categorize nodes'
COLLATE='utf8_general_ci'
ENGINE=MyISAM;
categories_nodes
CREATE TABLE `categories_nodes` (
`id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`category_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`node_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
INDEX `categoryId_nodeId` (`category_id`, `node_id`)
)
COLLATE='utf8_general_ci'
ENGINE=MyISAM;
node_tags
CREATE TABLE `node_tags` (
`id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`name` VARCHAR(40) NOT NULL,
`site_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`created` DATETIME NOT NULL,
`modified` DATETIME NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
INDEX `siteId` (`site_id`)
)
COLLATE='utf8_general_ci'
ENGINE=MyISAM;
nodes_node_tags
CREATE TABLE `nodes_node_tags` (
`id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`node_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
`node_tag_id` CHAR(36) NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
INDEX `node_id_node_tag_id` (`node_id`, `node_tag_id`)
)
COLLATE='utf8_general_ci'
ENGINE=MyISAM;
MySQL:
SELECT `Node`.`id`, `Node`.`name`, `Node`.`slug`, `Node`.`node_type_id`, `Node`.`site_id`, `Node`.`created`, `Node`.`modified`
FROM `mysite`.`nodes` AS `Node`
LEFT JOIN `mysite`.`data_date_times` AS `DataDateTime` ON (`DataDateTime`.`node_id` = `Node`.`id`)
LEFT JOIN `mysite`.`data_locations` AS `DataLocation` ON (`DataLocation`.`node_id` = `Node`.`id`)
LEFT JOIN `mysite`.`data_media` AS `DataMedia` ON (`DataMedia`.`node_id` = `Node`.`id`)
LEFT JOIN `mysite`.`data_metas` AS `DataMeta` ON (`DataMeta`.`node_id` = `Node`.`id`)
LEFT JOIN `mysite`.`data_profiles` AS `DataProfile` ON (`DataProfile`.`node_id` = `Node`.`id`)
LEFT JOIN `mysite`.`data_products` AS `DataProduct` ON (`DataProduct`.`node_id` = `Node`.`id`)
LEFT JOIN `mysite`.`data_texts` AS `DataText` ON (`DataText`.`node_id` = `Node`.`id`)
WHERE 1=1
GROUP BY `Node`.`id`

Answer 1

Firstly, try InnoDB, not MyISAM.
Secondly, remove the group by, see how well it runs then, and how many rows are involved. Shouldn't be that many, but it's interesting.
You don't need the 'nodeId' index on node (as you already have it as a primary key). Again, shouldn't make any difference.
The where clause is irrelevant. You can remove it with no effect one way or another.
Thirdly, well, something is seriously broken.
Have a quick look on how to start profiling (e.g. http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.0/en/show-profile.html) , and run a profile command to see where all the time is going. Post it here if it doesn't immediately show that something is broken.

Answer 2

I'm unfortunately not in a position where I can do any tests right now. I'll just throw out some ideas. I might be able to do some tests later.
Be suspicious of different collations.
Some of your ids are useless. For example, you should drop the column categories_nodes.id, and put a primary key constraint on {category_id, node_id} instead.
Be suspicious of any design that requires joining all the tables at run time. There are better ways.
Use innodb and foreign key constraints.